Update: I ended the relationship between Alex and I. I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but my decision had been influenced by an episode of gossip girl. Blair was talking saying something along the lines of this -- "Yes, I know we can talk for hours having intellectual conversations. But what is love without the spark?" Alex and I can talk for hours about world issues, and our hopes positively influencing society. But never once have I felt that spark... (besides the times I was on my back tingling from the last orgasm). I was trying too hard to love him. That's not what love is all about.
I attended an awesome keg party on the roof of an old church.
Sunday 12 June 2011
Tuesday 24 May 2011
Summer 2011
"Look! The sun is shining"
When you live on an island that's sky is enveloped with clouds nearly 70 percent of the time, the second the sun shows its bashful self, all the kids come out to play.
When you live on an island that's sky is enveloped with clouds nearly 70 percent of the time, the second the sun shows its bashful self, all the kids come out to play.
Beach Trips & Fish and Chips
Treasure Hunting at Mnt. Douglas Beach
Hiking up Mnt. Doug
Bud on a beautiful balcony
Skye came for a visit, as did MiMOSA.
Us hiking up Mnt. Finlayson with Phil & Eric
Saturday 14 May 2011
Fourteen Years
Today if I were to first meet you, would we still be friends? Or have our lives taken different paths.
An awkward silence hung in the air as we both conjured up ideas to pass through conversation. There was no depth, nothing meaningful. Talk of boys, old friends, liquor... the same gossip that escaped our mouths over five years ago.
Are we holding onto a dying friendship?
Friends... Just because we used to be friends.
An awkward silence hung in the air as we both conjured up ideas to pass through conversation. There was no depth, nothing meaningful. Talk of boys, old friends, liquor... the same gossip that escaped our mouths over five years ago.
Are we holding onto a dying friendship?
Friends... Just because we used to be friends.
Friday 13 May 2011
Think about it!
A company in BC profits nineteen million a year, and can only afford to pay its employees $10.50 an hour. The invisable share holders accumulate all of the wealth, while the fate of their company is put into their underpaid employees hands.
A company in Alberta who may profit fifty grand a year (if they are lucky) can afford to pay their employees $13.00 an hour. The owner does not accumulate an excess of wealth, but rather lives comfortably. The employees are happy, they enjoy their jobs. Owners, managers, and floor staff work together, promoting the greater good for the company.
Which one do you think is right?
A company in Alberta who may profit fifty grand a year (if they are lucky) can afford to pay their employees $13.00 an hour. The owner does not accumulate an excess of wealth, but rather lives comfortably. The employees are happy, they enjoy their jobs. Owners, managers, and floor staff work together, promoting the greater good for the company.
Which one do you think is right?
Wednesday 11 May 2011
Society says..
The pace each of us follows is not universal; there is no right time to settle down, nor is there a wrong time. One person may give in to the unconscious pressure that society beholds against them while another will happily restrain it.
Eleven days prior to my twenty-first birthday, and the idea of settling down causes me to giggle. When someone mentions the phrase, I cannot help but picture tired souls who feel there is nothing left to do but sit and grow old. I can't imagine having the urge to "settle down" for at least another ten years... there's just so much life to live.
A text that was sent earlier today from one of my best friends back home was what began brewing the idea of settling down, and the implications that this phrase holds. Because I am putting a hold on island living and returning to the comfort of my home town, the idea of rent has been passing between us. She had decided that renting a place was no longer what she wanted to do, and instead, is choosing to enter herself into a mortgage with the hope (the unrealistic hope) that she will one day own the condo. Though I personally would not want to enter myself into an interest accumulating debt sentence, I could not criticize her on her desire to do this. It was the next text that completely threw me off.
"Can't decide between a 1 or 2 bed".
"2 bed! roommates are necessary," I sent eagerly.
She replied with a comment that honestly shocked me. "I hate living with people. Plus, soon I will settle down with Ben or whoever."
I tried to convince her otherwise. To tell her that she needs to escape societies pressure, live outside of the boundaries. She doesn't need to start a career, buy a house, and build a family. She's only twenty! Howcome the pace I am living at is so completely opposite to hers, yet we grew up in the same surroundings, went to the same schools, and were always with the same people?
At twenty, one should be thinking about how little of the world they have seen, and how they want to put their mark on it. Their dreams should be set high, with no room for limitations. I live at a pace that leaves room for adjustment. I have no desire to be tied down to anything, to stick to one path. Sincerely, I believe she is cutting her future short by letting herself be swept in to the foolish workings of our north american society.
I will not let this happen to myself! I will experience all that I can. I will leave a lasting mark, much before I decide it is time to cut my adventures short and begin living a menial life.
Eleven days prior to my twenty-first birthday, and the idea of settling down causes me to giggle. When someone mentions the phrase, I cannot help but picture tired souls who feel there is nothing left to do but sit and grow old. I can't imagine having the urge to "settle down" for at least another ten years... there's just so much life to live.
A text that was sent earlier today from one of my best friends back home was what began brewing the idea of settling down, and the implications that this phrase holds. Because I am putting a hold on island living and returning to the comfort of my home town, the idea of rent has been passing between us. She had decided that renting a place was no longer what she wanted to do, and instead, is choosing to enter herself into a mortgage with the hope (the unrealistic hope) that she will one day own the condo. Though I personally would not want to enter myself into an interest accumulating debt sentence, I could not criticize her on her desire to do this. It was the next text that completely threw me off.
"Can't decide between a 1 or 2 bed".
"2 bed! roommates are necessary," I sent eagerly.
She replied with a comment that honestly shocked me. "I hate living with people. Plus, soon I will settle down with Ben or whoever."
I tried to convince her otherwise. To tell her that she needs to escape societies pressure, live outside of the boundaries. She doesn't need to start a career, buy a house, and build a family. She's only twenty! Howcome the pace I am living at is so completely opposite to hers, yet we grew up in the same surroundings, went to the same schools, and were always with the same people?
At twenty, one should be thinking about how little of the world they have seen, and how they want to put their mark on it. Their dreams should be set high, with no room for limitations. I live at a pace that leaves room for adjustment. I have no desire to be tied down to anything, to stick to one path. Sincerely, I believe she is cutting her future short by letting herself be swept in to the foolish workings of our north american society.
I will not let this happen to myself! I will experience all that I can. I will leave a lasting mark, much before I decide it is time to cut my adventures short and begin living a menial life.
Tuesday 10 May 2011
My two year mark will signify the end of my island journey for now. Originally, I left because my perception of myself was construed. I was living for the wrong reasons; unable to recognize which path would lead me to the happiness that every crevice craved.
When I first arrived, I was broken. My stomach was in a constant knot, and my eyes so easily leaked. But it was my mind that had been suffering the worst. I couldn't feel love. I lacked serenity. My only desire was to be forgotten.
The first six months were the most difficult. Though I wanted to be forgotten, I myself was unable to erase the memories of the people and the life I had so eagerly escaped. If Jamie hadn't ended his life the week before I was enduring on my journey, I bet my first few months would have been different. Instead I yearned for the conversations I knew were taking place at home with everyone that knew him. While everyone was rebuilding their friendships because they were so scared to lose another, I was locked inside a basement room with my eyes fixed on a screen displaying times that will never be recreated.
Every person that I could have entered into a conversation with seemed unworthy. They had no idea what I was going through, or what I had been through. My thought process was continuously directed towards Jamie. All I wanted was to have someone that could sit down and talk to me about it. Someone who could remind me of the ridiculous times we had spent together. Due to my inability to push his memory to the side, it took me longer than normal to meet friends and feel comfortable in my surroundings. I know you aren't supposed to regret things, but clinging to his memory is one thing that I do.
Things began to fall into place when I met Kyle in Psychology class in March. Though a relationship was not was I was looking for with him, I did enjoy his friendship. It was his invitation to join his team for a slowpitch match that allowed me to escape the boundaries that I had so fearfully been surrounded by. Nervousness eventually subsided, and socializing was completed with ease.. (and maybe with the help of the beers we were shotgunning). For a month or two him and I hung out nearly every day. Kyle gave me the confidence that I needed to break off and for once start enjoying my present life, and break off from what ever it was that I had experienced in the past. I'm sorry how I ended things with him, and how I lied. The person I left for was not half the person he was, I just hope he knows that.
Though the months of May through October taught me lessons that I am thankful for, I wouldn't mind cutting the time short at the end of July and leaving on a
When I first arrived, I was broken. My stomach was in a constant knot, and my eyes so easily leaked. But it was my mind that had been suffering the worst. I couldn't feel love. I lacked serenity. My only desire was to be forgotten.
The first six months were the most difficult. Though I wanted to be forgotten, I myself was unable to erase the memories of the people and the life I had so eagerly escaped. If Jamie hadn't ended his life the week before I was enduring on my journey, I bet my first few months would have been different. Instead I yearned for the conversations I knew were taking place at home with everyone that knew him. While everyone was rebuilding their friendships because they were so scared to lose another, I was locked inside a basement room with my eyes fixed on a screen displaying times that will never be recreated.
Every person that I could have entered into a conversation with seemed unworthy. They had no idea what I was going through, or what I had been through. My thought process was continuously directed towards Jamie. All I wanted was to have someone that could sit down and talk to me about it. Someone who could remind me of the ridiculous times we had spent together. Due to my inability to push his memory to the side, it took me longer than normal to meet friends and feel comfortable in my surroundings. I know you aren't supposed to regret things, but clinging to his memory is one thing that I do.
Things began to fall into place when I met Kyle in Psychology class in March. Though a relationship was not was I was looking for with him, I did enjoy his friendship. It was his invitation to join his team for a slowpitch match that allowed me to escape the boundaries that I had so fearfully been surrounded by. Nervousness eventually subsided, and socializing was completed with ease.. (and maybe with the help of the beers we were shotgunning). For a month or two him and I hung out nearly every day. Kyle gave me the confidence that I needed to break off and for once start enjoying my present life, and break off from what ever it was that I had experienced in the past. I'm sorry how I ended things with him, and how I lied. The person I left for was not half the person he was, I just hope he knows that.
Though the months of May through October taught me lessons that I am thankful for, I wouldn't mind cutting the time short at the end of July and leaving on a
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